Steubenville: A Modest Proposal. Or A Moral Requiem

Every town, indeed every settlement, hosts its demons. Towns generally spring up where wealth can be created. Some of that wealth is inevitably dispersed from fools and victims to the hands of those more clever and ruthless. The rituals of corruption between gathered humans are themselves as human as laughter and tears. There are no exceptions.But if accounts can be trusted, it seems that Steubenville, Ohio, blessed with extractable fossil fuel and its position on the railroad between Pittsburgh and Chicago in the American industrial ascent, hosted more than its share of demons in the 20th century. It was dubbed “Sin City” at one point as mafia elements thrived with prostitution and gambling, abetted by local industry and town leadership.Now the 20th century is history and Steubenville is struggling against decay and decline. So why pick on it? Because it’s clear that a natural desire to remain relevant, and elements of the corruption that once defined Steubenville have now morphed into a cocktail of denial and tolerance for sexual assault by its last vestige of greatness: Big Red Football.The events of August 11th and 12th, 2012, namely the abduction, gang-rape and desecration of an unconscious teenager at a series of parties attended by members of the Steubenville High School football team, are now national news. They might have been anyway as (thankfully) awareness of the occurrence of sexual violence within the protection of institutions is increasing.But for Big Red Football, the attention has been focused more readily because of the reluctance of witnesses to come forward and the disturbing abrogation of responsibility from the team’s coaching staff. The police chief has publicly stated his frustration at the lack of cooperation from potential witnesses, party-goers who might have important information or digital evidence. Other townsfolk have spoken to national media only anonymously for fear of retribution for standing up to the institution that is the SHS football program.As for the coaching staff, the reaction of the head coach, Reno Saccoccia, is perhaps the most telling in terms of its harkening to Steubenville’s mob-run past. According to the New York Times, Saccoccia was asked why he didn’t bench or otherwise discipline several players (other than the two charged) who were then known to have posted frightening comments and photos about the crime on social media sites, some as it was happening. Saccoccia’s response? “You made me mad now. You’re gonna get yours. And if you don’t get yours, someone close to you will.” Beautifully put, Coach. Indeed, a low level button-man in a movie couldn’t have put it better.An assistant coach, Nate Hubbard, provided the time-honored if baseless assertion that the victim must have made up the rape allegation because she had “come home” drunk (she was actually dumped there) and “had to make up something.” Actually, the victim at first didn't know what had happened to her. She was clued in by social media postings that added a further level of trauma to her and her family.In any event, there is no natural instinct to fabricate rape, let alone against a leviathan like Big Red.  Legions of young women (and I’d wager a surprising number of young men) are used sexually by sports heroes in every locale and on every level in our society. The vast majority do not report these interactions as crimes when they clearly are. What the victimized do instead is blame themselves. The victim at the center of this case had the wherewithal to come forward, and does so at her peril. Steubenville may not seem like much, but its most venerable institution remains supreme in the eyes of many who share her environment.If Coach Saccoccia and everyone in power had a grounded sense of right and wrong and a vision for a better future, they would impose on themselves a NCAA style “death penalty.” They would take the 2013 season off to re-commit themselves to healthy athletics rather than the continued parade of entitled violence and privilege done within their midst.It would be a grand gesture toward a better and more secure future for Steubenville, its athletes, and its young- even unborn- potential victims. And it will never happen.  

10 Year-Old Girl: Critical Condition After "Celebratory" Bullet New Year's Day

At the A.I. Dupont Hospital for Children in Wilmington (I conducted legal training for nurses there on the day of the Sandy Hook shooting), a young girl is fighting for her life after an apparently "celebratory" bullet struck her while she was watching fireworks with her family shortly after midnight. Thankfully she's getting top notch care at A.I. Dupont. Sickeningly, she's there in the first place because of yet another misuse of a firearm- perhaps the first in 2013 against a child. With 364 days left to go, I shudder to imagine the rest of the year.

On Faith, Risk, and "Couch Surfing"

Joseph and Mary: The original "couchsurfers."That's neither a joke nor necessarily Biblically incorrect. Joseph desperately needed shelter when he and his intensely pregnant wife arrived in a chilly and overcrowded desert town for a Roman census call. An inn-keeper had an idea.As a rabbi, Jesus became a couchsurfer as well, treading through ancient Palestine with his crew, finding comfort, wine, and conversation, bearing witness to sinners and holy people alike. So given the blessings of adequate space, how could a modern Christian's home be anything other than a glowing respite for weary fellow travelers?Enter Couchsurfing.org, (CS) active in 97,000 cities worldwide. Members create a detailed profile with photos describing themselves and their living space, then offer hospitality to other members passing through. It's at heart a wonderful idea; one that a cynical and aging former prosecutor shouldn't douse with cold water. But after a patient review of their safety tips and policies, I didn't come away with confidence in CS's ability to reasonably predict a safe outcome in any offline meeting.CS does prominently address safety, and importantly emphasizes risk-minimization and informed choices rather than meaningless and impossible "assurances." Life is risk and there are no guarantees. I'm sure the vast majority of CS made connections are positive. But they simultaneously claim a "close-knit" community where "vouching" helps allay concerns, and roughly 5 million members.Their safety video focuses on the joyful leap of discovery and innate good in people rather than the serious and still highly fallible business of self-protection when agreeing to lose consciousness in a stranger's home a half a world away. Instead, members discuss how they can communicate with their presumed hosts both online and in person before finally committing to unrolling a sleeping bag. It's stressed that personal interaction can often lead to the comforting conclusion that the host is "nice." You talk to them, and you can tell.Except you can't. I imagine CS boasts a very short list of reported crimes- either to them or to authorities in whatever part of the globe- against hosts or travelers as evidence of a sound safety record. But a lack of reporting, even to them, hardly means a lack of occurrences, some frightening or worse.Now enter faith because of how I became familiar with CS. A dear friend is a PhD and Christian missionary. He shared an article by a woman whose family opens their home to couchsurfers and others as "reverse missionaries." They provide warm hospitality and, to willing ears, Jesus' message. Again, it's a wonderful idea.But I am frightened for her family, sadly, by statements like this: "It really is God who is our booking agent. We know He is guiding the right people to us." This is all she offers for how she measures risk and makes decisions. She relates that early in their experience as hosts, a young Slovenian couple arrived with their toddler and it was then they "knew they had nothing to fear." Much is made of the participation their young children have in the interaction with guests as well. I assume these children appear in her CS profile, probably also in photographs.I'd love dearly to believe that God is actively protecting them on this gracious adventure. Perhaps He is, or perhaps they are content with His stewardship come what may. But I have seen, tragically, how people of faith and Christians in particular are targeted by predators who are remarkably adept at appearing to be of a similar mind. A belief in providence and forgiveness are great gifts. They are also beacons of opportunity for human things empty of anything but blunt and vicious self-satisfaction.It's been said that religion provides the right to martyr oneself, but not one's children. I mean no disrespect to this apparently loving and decent couple, and admittedly the article was not intended as a practical "how to" for anyone. But it is solely the choices she and her husband make that seal the fates of their children, one of whom is eight.That fact haunts me. That, and the dark reality I can't shake of whom the dead-eyed often hunt: Those whose eyes sparkle with faith, hope, and trust. 

"Guns Don't Kill People, People Kill People." Just Exceedingly More Often With Guns

An enlightening and chilling graphic from the Washington Post.Homicide and suicide are accomplished far more often with the use of a firearm than anything else. For anyone possessing the common sense to see clearly how meaningless the "people kill people" mantra is, this makes perfect sense. Firearms facilitate violent death by making it easier, quicker, more likely, and more cleanly distanced.

Next: Armed Guards For Firefighters. Then a Permanent State of Combat for Everyone

Another town, this one in upstate New York, has seen Christmas shattered as another waste of humanity guns down responding firefighters with apparently the same Bushmaster rifle as that used in Newtown, Connecticut earlier this bloody month.  The killer's motive, plainly expressed in a typewritten note left behind, appears to have been his own amusement. And of course, since he was armed to the teeth, he was able to indulge it thoroughly.Clenched-fist rage at the shooter is both understandable and a waste of time, just as it has been with almost every pathetic monstrosity whose final act of cowardice- suicide- has put justice out of reach since Columbine and long before.What, then, will be Wayne LaPierre and the NRA's solution now? Armed guards for firefighters and first responders? I suppose we'll soon need them for postal carriers, UPS drivers and so on ad infinitum. Indeed, the answer is to become a permanently hyper-vigilant society resembling more a forward operating base than a civilized nation. The standard will be unrelenting preparedness for combat at all times, whether at Sunday dinner, a little league ball game or an errand as simple as picking up a Christmas tree.There will no longer be any such thing as too careful. And if a populace armed to the teeth experiences accidental or panicked discharges, explosive ends to otherwise non-deadly arguments, bystander manslaughter, increased suicides or any other of the unintended consequences of killing tools in the wildly inconsistent hands of would be heroes, we'll have to shrug and insist that only people, and not armed people, are responsible for bodies, lives and futures torn to pieces by firearms.If nothing else, this will certainly spike gun sales, so perhaps the NRA and its supporting industry have a method to their madness after all. If they can convince the rest of us to indulge it, they'll have the powder keg of a country they clearly covet. The rest of us can at least claim our "freedom" as we prepare, as always, to duck, crouch, fire, and die. Or scream. Or weep. 

At Christmas: We're Not a Christian Nation. We're Better Than A Christian Nation.

Before going to my parents' house for a traditional, Italian Catholic Christmas Eve dinner, I stopped at a drug store in need of tiny batteries for an annoyingly complicated toy I bought for my nephew. Five men who worked there- all Muslim and none of whom were celebrating Christmas- spent a half an hour helping me find the right batteries and install them into the damn thing. They lent me a screwdriver and helped me figure out how to get it working. They knew I wanted it to work on Christmas Eve, and they didn't give up until we all figured out how to make that happen, somewhere between the long register counter and the photo processing area.America is not a Christian nation, nor was it ever designed as such.It's better than that. It was conceived as better than that.That's not to say there's anything wrong with being Christian. When practiced in harmony with the words we know of the itinerant preacher Jesus, Christianity is a generous and kind adherence. It remains my adherence, in a sense.But "Christian" is a grossly over and ill-used adjective.  And regardless, it's not who "we" are as a country. We are Muslims. We are Jews. We are Hindus. We are- increasingly- secular and non-worshipping. But as this intended diversity manifests itself through the years, more and more I see "Christianity" aimed against it like a weapon.I don't believe Jesus wanted or needed weapons. And so quietly I choose to love Him, grateful for the kindnesses I receive, whether in His name or just in His style.Merry Christmas to all.  

Savannah Dietrich: "I was in so much pain, death seemed like a friendly thought to me."

Savannah Dietrich may not fancy herself a poet. And yet the sentiment she uttered in a Kentucky juvenile courtroom, in a victim impact statement about how sexual violence threatened her life, is darkly, beautifully, and naturally poetic. "Death seemed like a friendly thought."Savannah is 17, and her name would not be published in this space if she and her family did not want the facts of her case to be made public. She is, as it happens, a remarkably courageous young woman who was sexually assaulted at age 16 by two male friends, both of whom pled guilty  and received extremely light sentences for what they admittedly did to her. Initially threatened with contempt of court after tweeting the names of her attackers despite a juvenile court order (in reaction to the lenient dispositions they received), she has since testified in a sentencing hearing as to the effect this assault (and then publication by the attackers of semi-nude photos) had on her.If you've ever been in a place, either in adolescence or long afterward, where death- the simple, final escape from mental anguish- has seemed like a kindness, then you understand the place Savannah found herself in after being violated and then exposed through social media. You understand how the path of your life can narrow insidiously into a blind and numb corridor that seems to lead to only one exit. You can appreciate the exhaustion that results from the ceaseless, gnawing sense of hopelessness and despair. You can see how it's less Shakespearean bravado or vainglory that prompts the final process of suicide, and more just the feeling that you just can't take another step. And it's because you know now too well how each step just leads in the same, meaningless direction. It's a journey you can't walk anymore. And so just maybe, you decide not to go any further.It's true that a lack of perspective, naturally a part of adolescence, makes these dark temptations even worse; this is exactly why teenagers with suicidal ideation need steady attention, care and support.Regardless, pain is pain, and Savannah found herself drowning in it because of the actions of two  boys who found it acceptable to violate her sexually, memorialize it with photographs, and then distribute those photographs to others. They both admitted their guilt, and now bemoan their "bad judgment." I have no desire to demonize these two boys or suggest that they are lost and unreclaimable as decent adults and non-violent men. But I will insist that the actions they took against Savannah in August of 2011 went far beyond "bad judgment" and fully through to sexual violence and evil. They stuck their fingers in her vagina while she lay unconscious. They photographed her and then distributed the photos to friends. This goes far beyond "bad judgment." It raises serious questions about psychological makeup and self-control.For these offenses, they will endure community service and sex offender treatment, with a chance to expunge the findings at age 21. Hopefully, this relatively early detection of the two of them as offenders (and thanks only to the wherewithal and courage of Savannah Dietrich) will result in actual soul-searching and reform as adulthood races toward them.In the meantime, Savannah continues to suffer, although hopefully less acutely as time and the blessed reclaiming of her power and dignity sinks in. I am deeply thankful that she didn't answer the "friendly" voice that may have whispered, or shouted, or just plainly, demonically, spoken to her in her darkest moments. It's a voice that speaks in every language, confidently, expertly, and with greased rationality, to its latest hearer.Savannah was able to silence it. God bless and keep her. 

A Breach of the Thin Blue Line: Honor, Sacrifice, and Laying In State in Topeka, Kansas

I've worked with cops for 15 years, and I've always enjoyed it. It's probably part of what made me comfortable in my role as a prosecutor, but I've always liked the confident but measured swagger of a good cop; the plucky air of moral superiority. The best ones know they're "the good guys" and have fun with it while at the same time doing the job right.And it's a damn tough job to do right.I have high expectations for cops and very little tolerance for bad ones. Unfair, maybe, given the stress and demands associated with the job, but it's because I've been blessed, in two jurisdictions and a host of training environments over the years, with very decent ones who deal with the pressure and the misery and don't succumb to hatred or a temptation to cut corners.The deaths by ambush-style gunfire of David Gogian, 50 (a long-serving officer) and Jeff Atherly, 29 (a relative rookie) while attending to a simple vehicle investigation this past Sunday was overshadowed by the nightmarish events in Newtown, Connecticut. But they are nevertheless renewed and dark reminders to every man or woman in law enforcement who puts on a uniform each day: "You started this shift on your feet. God, luck, reflexes and circumstance will determine whether you end it on your feet."Indeed. The alternative is a hospital bed or a medical examiner's slab. For Gogian and Atherly, death gave chase and would not be thwarted. The perverse instincts and poisoned decisions of some miserable killer with the right tool made all the difference, not only in the lives of Gogian and Atherly, but in the lives of their families, loved ones and colleagues. This holiday season will be as dark and empty as a tomb for those who loved and depended on these men.My silent prayer is that the two rest in the arms of angels, and that their families find comfort in knowing how much they valued the community they died for.

After Newtown: Why I Won't Join a Prayer Chain

I have one nephew, a four year-old boy who is the most precious thing in my life. He is my baby sister's child, and my parents' only grandchild. He is the hope of my family going forward.Two days before the evil unleashed on Newtown, I attended a Christmas pageant at his Catholic elementary school. It was an adorable rendition of gospel readings by older children and songs from the younger ones. There was a stage in a large, airy gymnasium where the children held hands and sang. They were led to the stage by their teachers, in unsteady columns, through the rows of chairs packed with beaming parents holding cell phones and cameras.As I usually am at events like that, I was uneasy, and I hated it. Whether it's a generally over-active imagination or a career in the business I chose, all I could think of, from the moment I filed in and found my parents and sister, through the introduction of the children and the singing was "Dear God, this place is defenseless. What if some disgruntled spouse comes in here and..."But I banished those thoughts as well as I could, because while their subject reality was technically possible, it seemed silly and paranoid to dwell on it. And really, I eventually reasoned, how likely is it that I'll actually hear shots ring out? That I'll see wide-eyed little children being blown apart, shot through tiny chests, faces and flailing arms and legs? Screaming in terror and agony even while falling short of contemplating what's happening to them?Scary, I reasoned. And technically possible. But not at all likely. So I watched, and enjoyed, and it didn't happen. It usually doesn't, after all. Until it does. And literally 48 hours later, it did.The impact of the events of December 14, 2012 will be a long time fully manifesting. For the parents of the dead, the numbing horror-walk of the grief process is darkly blossoming among the unavoidable sounds and sights of the holiday season in a garish red and green ritual of torture. Newtown is most likely permanently wounded, its simple New England name forever lashed to terror and sorrow. One of its four elementary schools was transformed into a hideous necropolis. And now a long winter will set in, claiming more victims in divorce, suicide, breakdowns and despair.Indeed, the miserable creature who was Adam Lanza left this life by his own hand a monster, transformed from the status of a pathetic, feckless adolescent. His reasons, if they exist, may or may not emerge.But what is crystal clear is what made his transformation possible.Lanza's mother, a suburban woman in a deeply low-crime, secure and well protected area, was nevertheless a collector "for protection" of military grade firearms capable of dealing death on a massive and efficient scale. Those weapons found their way into the hands of her murderous offspring and the rest now haunts this holiday season for everyone within and far beyond Newtown.Cries for better attention to mental illness are appropriate and sorely needed. But so is the access that would-be monsters have to the tools of bone shattering, flesh wasting, machine-like human elimination. I have lost my patience for the pubescent logic of "guns don't kill people, people kill people" and the redneck paranoia of "we must guard against government tyranny." I will no longer tolerate these arguments as anything other than the foolish and dangerous nonsense they are.Neither will I join prayer-chains on social media sites, or share elaborate graphics of 26 tea lights in the shape of a heart, or images of the young, smiling dead in the bosom of Jesus. It's not that I think these things are necessarily bad. It's that I am wary of their presumed ability to make any of this less sickening and intolerable. It's that I'm suspicious of these gestures placating the creators and disseminators into a self-satisfied, faith-fuled sense that "all was done that could be done."It's because, after a year stained red by monsters abetted by an industry and political machine that snuffs out common sense as blithely as life, I am simply tired of seeing them.  

Viciousness and Ignorance From the Bench Doesn't Mean One is Removed From the Bench

The verbatim (from the Latin "word for word") record that is made in most felony level criminal cases in the US can haunt everyone involved, including the judge. In the case of a remarkably vicious rapist named Matin Gurel from Orange County, California, a judge was apparently and justly haunted by remarks he made at a sentencing that spared the rapist a decade in prison.Gurel had threatened to mutilate his victim's face, and to burn her vagina with a heated screwdriver. The Orange County District Attorney's Office asked for 16 years. The judge, a man still on the bench named Derek G. Johnson, gave him six. His reasoning, in his words: "I’m not a gynecologist, but I can tell you something. If someone doesn’t want to have sexual intercourse, the body shuts down. The body will not permit that to happen unless a lot of damage in inflicted, and we heard nothing about that in this case. That tells me that the victim in this case, although she wasn’t necessarily willing, she didn’t put up a fight."Judge Johnson, we can agree on one thing. You are most definitely not a gynecologist. Nor are you fit to sit in legal judgment of a parking ticket. The California Commission on Judicial Performance was right to publicly admonish you, but their sanction falls far short of what you deserve, which is banishment from the honor of the robe and the power that comes with it. 

Closed "Reform School" in Florida Looks To Have Been A Gateway To Nightmares

For many reasons, it should come as no surprise. The Dozier School for Boys, opened in 1900, closed just last year and appears to house the primitively marked or unmarked graves of 50 or more boys. They were apparently interred there over the decades after dying at the school, many of them likely from neglect, maltreatment, or far worse. This story should be followed, and the government of Florida should be held to answer- in every possible way- for the abuses that occurred at this institution.The abuse of anyone in government custody is intolerable. The abuse of children in government custody is abhorrent. Its existence mocks civilization itself.

Nonsense at the Good Men Project: "Nice Guys Commit Rape Too"

Alyssa Royse, apparently a sex educator and feminist dedicated to empowering women, is nevertheless dead wrong in everything from the title of this article to her contentions within it. Briefly, she has a male friend whom she believes to be a genuinely decent guy. He confided in her that he had been accused of rape, and then admitted that he had penetrated his victim sexually while she was unconscious. To be fair, Royse labels this as rape and never backs down on that characterization. But (as far as I can tell simply because she feels she "knows" the rapist) she then launches into a grandiose examination of mixed signals, societal imperatives, nuances and subtleties etc, in order to explain how this "nice guy" did such a bad thing.I quote the brilliant sex offender treatment-provider and victim advocate Nikki Vallierie, PhD: "Nice is a behavior, not a trait."Royse takes pains to avoid victim-blaming by repeatedly acknowledging her friend committed rape. But she then describes how she had seen the victim aggressively flirting with him, sending "signals" that clearly indicated a desire for sex. But both Royce and her friend must understand that no signals can be sent from a human body that is unconscious. And whatever signals went out before, they are vitiated by that lack of consciousness.It sounds simple. It is simple. But not enough for Royse, who bemoans the fog of alcohol and the necessity of nuance and innuendo that pervade sexuality in our culture. She remarks (baselessly) that 50% of men are probably committing these same "accidental rapes" because of the terrible tangle that is the modern hook-up culture.I'll end with the comment I posted to her piece, as I think it says what's most relavant:Ms. Royse, while I appreciate what you have tried to accomplish both with this piece and by moderating this discussion, I believe you are terribly misinformed and being dangerously misleading. To the extent that readers are rushing to accept both your (or others) inaccurate portrayals of the reality of sexual violence, there is potential harm being done. Briefly: -You have continued to insist, because of the “countless hours” you’ve apparently spent with him, that your friend (the original subject of this piece) is a “sweet” guy. A nice guy. And you know this because….? Nice is a behavior, Ms. Royse. It is not a trait. Nice is what this man does- apparently to you as well- but it is hardly what he is. Sexually penetrating an unconscious person is rape (as you fairly point out) but it is not the kind of thing that is in any way difficult to avoid or easy to fall into. One doesn’t mistake a lack of consciousness. It is often accompanied by urinating on oneself, vomiting, or at least closed eyes, somniferous breathing, and an utter lack of cooperation/participation in the act. My guess? He was horrified not by his “mistake” but by her accusation. Since the vast majority of women who are violated even more clearly than his victim do not report, he was acting rationally in believing that he could rape her and get away with it. He probably has before. He probably will again, despite your protestations regarding his character to the contrary. -I beg you to google one name: David Lisak. Dr. Lisak is a ground-breaking researcher in this area who has determined with far more scientific discipline how undetected rapists like your friend actually work. -I’m sorry, but the issues at work here are far less complicated than you are attempting to make them. And forgive me, but when you attempt to make them more complicated you are putting more women (and some men) in danger. That’s right- that’s my contention. What you’re doing here is creating an elaborate cocktail party conversation with many willing participants about a highly misunderstood and controversial issue. But instead of clearing the air, you’re darkening it. In so doing, you are in fact being an apologist for the relatively few but highly prolific rapists out there who depend on a well-intended but foolish obfuscation of their crystal-clear intent. Please refrain.

Techno Protection From Rape Drugs In Mixed Drinks: Mixed Feelings

It's an interesting idea. A drinking cup that changes color when (apparently) any one of a number of common rape drugs are added to the drink. To the extent it foils the plans of would-be rapists who use drugs, or chills the practice at all, it sounds positive. But a few things should be kept in mind:-Most acquaintance-rape (by far the most common) is accomplished through the use of alcohol alone.-There's a real possibility that this product, if it becomes common enough, will create yet another "rule" that, if victims break it (i.e. by not using the cup or being attacked despite its use, as in an alcohol-only situation) they'll be judged for not using it or not using it correctly.-It may not be easy to use the drinkware properly in a dark bar, or after consuming alcohol regularly. It could create false sense of security.Might be a step in the right direction. But there are potential unintended consequences.

From MaleSurivor.Org: Ugly Stereotypes Regarding Men, Their Past, And Violence

Friend and colleague Chris Anderson, executive director of MaleSurvivor, wrote an important piece at the Good Men Project about stereotypes and male violence. Chris, as usual, was brave and candid regarding his own experiences and background.Many people mistakenly believe that men who have been sexually abused are more likely grow up sexually abusing others. This is an inaccurate and damaging myth that seems valid simply because the great majority (as Anna Salter discusses brilliantly) of convicted sex offenders claim childhood abuse when they are before a judge, a probation officer, or a corrections specialist evaluating them for a program. Research on the subject puts the percentages much lower, around 30%. The difference between what is claimed and then later revealed to be false (often using just the threat of a polygraph in a treatment program) is simple to explain: Offenders often fabricate abuse histories because doing so makes them seem less culpable. Claiming to have been victimized gets them easier sentences and more sympathy from decision makers in the system.In general, the idea that the sexual abuse of a child somehow serves to "turn" that child into a future abuser is baseless. What is true is that many victims who are not responded to or treated appropriately do abuse people- themselves. They self-medicate with alcohol and other intoxicants. They avoid their more deeply painful and psychological issues by turning to pathological pursuits like workaholism, high-risk lifestyles and reckless behaviors. Tragically, childhood or adolescent victims without proper intervention are at greater risk to be re-victimized later in life. But they are no more likely to abuse children than anyone else, and in fact usually grow up to be more aware and more protective of children in their care because of their experiences.What is truly frightening, as Salter and other top experts will admit, is that we really don't yet know where the urge to harm a child sexually comes from. All we really know at this time is that it usually emerges somewhere in adolescence, and seems to last (for most offenders) through the several decades of adulthood.This is not a comforting reality. Many well-intentioned people, wanting to believe in a "just" or at least ordered universe and loving God, cling to the idea that the seemingly inhuman among us are just tragically, unrecognizably wounded because their own experiences. The problem with this general hypothesis, though, (aside from its simple inaccuracy, at least where sexual abuse is concerned) is that it feeds a more pernicious myth; namely that those victimized are forever "tainted" and more likely to abuse others. Even where non-sexual abuse is concerned, it's horribly wrong to assume that a child victim of or witness to physical or domestic violence is less capable of refraining from violence because of their childhood experiences.The article that Chris Anderson comments on (from Erika Christakis in Time Magazine) argues reasonably that men are the perpetrators of the great majority of violent, homicidal acts confronted in society. One of her suggestions is to treat violence as a public health issue, so that child victims of violence can be treated, and their situations intervened upon with greater effectiveness in terms of their own future wellbeing.  This is something neither myself nor Chris Anderson would disagree with.My only hesitance with what she puts forth is the possible and unfair implication that violence, and particularly sexual violence, is something unerringly attributable to past victimization and maleness. Where physical, domestic violence is concerned, it's true that a correlation between childhood victimization for boys and later perpetration has been established. But even an established correlation does not suggest that male victims of childhood violence are destined somehow to beat their partners and children in adulthood. And where sexual violence is concerned, the connection simply doesn't appear to exist.The lesson?  While we work toward eliminating sexual and family violence, we cannot unfairly assume the victims we encounter are destined by their victimization to repeat it. 

Zero Excuses, Zero Room for Tolerance Where Irresponsible Gun Ownership Is Concerned

A western Pennsylvania man has lost his 7 year-old son, apparently because he discharged his handgun accidentally as he climbed into his vehicle outside of a gun store, shooting his child in the chest. From what has been reported so far, he had cleared the magazine but didn't realize there was a round left in the chamber.There is no excuse for this. None. Regardless of how badly this man and his family are dreadfully being punished already, the accidental shooter is a person who should never handle a firearm again. I grew up and remain close with several responsible, law-abiding gun owners and enthusiasts. Their children will eventually die as we all will. But they won't die at the hands of their fathers because of frankly idiotic mistakes like this.Owning a firearm s a harrowing responsibility. Every single thing related to its use, maintenance and storage must be meticulously attended to by its owner. Failure is not an option. Ever. There is simply too much at stake.

Lizzy Seeberg and Notre Dame's Phenomenal Year: Why One Alumnus Can't Cheer For Them

Melinda Henneberger, the sharp Washington Post columnist of "She The People," won't be cheering for her alma mater when they meet the University of Alabama in the college football championship game on January 7th. The reason is simple: Two of the athletes who will take the field and have contributed to ND's success this fall are suspects in sexual violence cases. Neither was charged, for reasons both Ms. Henneberger and myself believe were unrelated to the reality of what happened.I'm not a sports fan. But I like Notre Dame as I identify still as Catholic and have dear friends who are deeply decent, honorable alumni of this phenomenal, rightfully venerated institution. But along with Henneberger, my enthusiasm for their recent come-back has been stunted by the ugliness of what I know and what I can piece together from it. ND has made its choices, and has achieved what college football success it will from them. What consequences will or should follow, I am not nearly qualified to predict. 

The 11 Year-Old "Spider" in Texas, Luring Her Rapists

So she was described by a defense attorney in the trial of one of the roughly 20 men charged with gang rape against an 11 year-old girl in Liberty, Texas in 2010. Describing her as having lured the attackers on cross-examination, the lawyer in question, Steve Taylor, proved he's not only a child victim blamer but also a terrible cross-examiner. Let the lawyer jokes continue; it's richly deserved.Media note: The article linked above from the Houston Chronicle says, in a photo caption, that the defendants in the case are charged with "having sex" with an 11 year-old girl. That isn't possible in Texas or any U.S. state. The act is rape, not sex. The Chron should know better.

Hell is for Children: Jersey Bridgeman and Unfathomable Evil

Last year, she was chained to a dresser- in order to keep her from seeking out food at night- by her father and stepmother. Both are serving gratifyingly (and unusually) long prison sentences for that child torture.  Now she's been apparently murdered by a neighbor.I have not abandoned faith. I have, however, abandoned faith's nostrum that "everything happens for a reason."May this child rest peacefully in the arms of angels. If there be no angels, than at least in stillness, stripped of memory.

Accusations Against Elmo Creator Kevin Clash: Hard to Face, But Less Hard to Believe

The suspicion, backlash and contempt that's been unleashed against both of the men who have accused Sesame Street's Kevin Clash did not surprise me. Nor did the compounding of baseless gossip-column nonsense against Sheldon Stephens- Clash's first victim- when he reaffirmed his allegations against Clash around November 18th, a day or two before the second victim came forward on November 20th.For most, the blind defense of Mr. Clash and the knee-jerk rejection of the claims of the young men he is alleged to have sexually abused are a result of ignorance. Simply put, most people don't understand the dynamics behind the sexual abuse of adolescents. Given that the subject of the complaints is a celebrity, and one whose inspiring personal story and universally loved character are involved, the rejection of the victims as money-hungry celebrity hunters just gets more tempting.But ignorance shouldn't stand unchallenged, regardless of an Internet onslaught that seeks to bury the truth in an avalanche of self-perpetuating nonsense. A few points worth mentioning:-The first victim to come forward (Stephens, whose name I only print because it's in the public sphere) announced his allegation on November 12th. A $125,000 settlement appears to have followed between Clash and Stephens, the result of which was conditioned on an official recantation of Stephens' allegation, so that he acknowledged only a sexual relationship when Stephens was at least 18. He then, around November 19th, reaffirmed that Clash had abused him as a minor. The Internet has since roiled with accusations of Stephens as a "flip-flopper" and someone who "can't make up his mind" about what happened to him.In fact, recantation and reaffirmation are extremely common in child sexual abuse cases. Studies I've seen put the rate of recantation around 25% (my personal experience reflected a higher rate even into adulthood). Of the many reasons for recanting valid allegations, unwanted attention and a backlash for accusing a famous and beloved figure are two that should be easy to understand. Of those who do recant, about half eventually reaffirm once the initial shock and backlash can be digested. Stephens was offered a settlement to take back the actionable facts, but has since reaffirmed and wants to undo it.-Stephens has a criminal record, another fact leveled against him as the story develops. But adolescents and young adults with the kinds of tough upbringings, emotional difficulties and other stressors that often lead them into criminality are exactly the kinds of victims predators look for and find. Kids or young adults who commit crimes suffer credibility deficits; they are less likely to be believed. Even if Clash wasn't specifically looking for a troubled kid easy to victimize, he was most likely to find someone like that on the chat rooms he was apparently visiting in search of younger sexual partners.-Neither of Clash's victims ever went to the police, another "gotcha" moment for those who don't want to believe them. But a very small percentage of victims- in both child and adult cases- ever tell authorities, let alone close in time to the abuse. In theory and apparently in cyber-space, "calling the cops" is as natural as ringing a fire alarm. In reality, doing so is remarkably daunting and frightening. Many victims figure they're powerless regardless of what they allege. Some don't even know if they've been legally victimized. Many blame themselves and feel they have no right to press charges. Most are terrified of everything that the criminal justice system is for almost everyone- a process both intimidating and unknown. And when sex is involved, particularly with older children who will both feel and be seen as more blameworthy for their "participation" in their victimization, the urge to tell authorities usually shuts down.I can't say with certainty that Clash is legally responsible for anything. But we know that he at least acknowledges a sexual relationship with a much younger individual, and that another young man has come forward with similar allegations. I have no desire to see Clash unjustly accused or punished. But neither should those accusing him suffer unjustly because of ignorance and cynicism.

Predators as Coaches: MaleSurvivor.Org Takes Them On

MaleSurvivor, an advocacy group focusing on the sexual victimization of boys and men, scored a big hit this week with a great conference in New York and a well-reported piece in the New York Times on how boys involved with sports are often victimized by coaches and mentors within athletic environments. These athletic institutions- formal and informal- attract, feed and support predators. The boys who are preyed upon suffer greatly as a result.