From MaleSurivor.Org: Ugly Stereotypes Regarding Men, Their Past, And Violence

Friend and colleague Chris Anderson, executive director of MaleSurvivor, wrote an important piece at the Good Men Project about stereotypes and male violence. Chris, as usual, was brave and candid regarding his own experiences and background.Many people mistakenly believe that men who have been sexually abused are more likely grow up sexually abusing others. This is an inaccurate and damaging myth that seems valid simply because the great majority (as Anna Salter discusses brilliantly) of convicted sex offenders claim childhood abuse when they are before a judge, a probation officer, or a corrections specialist evaluating them for a program. Research on the subject puts the percentages much lower, around 30%. The difference between what is claimed and then later revealed to be false (often using just the threat of a polygraph in a treatment program) is simple to explain: Offenders often fabricate abuse histories because doing so makes them seem less culpable. Claiming to have been victimized gets them easier sentences and more sympathy from decision makers in the system.In general, the idea that the sexual abuse of a child somehow serves to "turn" that child into a future abuser is baseless. What is true is that many victims who are not responded to or treated appropriately do abuse people- themselves. They self-medicate with alcohol and other intoxicants. They avoid their more deeply painful and psychological issues by turning to pathological pursuits like workaholism, high-risk lifestyles and reckless behaviors. Tragically, childhood or adolescent victims without proper intervention are at greater risk to be re-victimized later in life. But they are no more likely to abuse children than anyone else, and in fact usually grow up to be more aware and more protective of children in their care because of their experiences.What is truly frightening, as Salter and other top experts will admit, is that we really don't yet know where the urge to harm a child sexually comes from. All we really know at this time is that it usually emerges somewhere in adolescence, and seems to last (for most offenders) through the several decades of adulthood.This is not a comforting reality. Many well-intentioned people, wanting to believe in a "just" or at least ordered universe and loving God, cling to the idea that the seemingly inhuman among us are just tragically, unrecognizably wounded because their own experiences. The problem with this general hypothesis, though, (aside from its simple inaccuracy, at least where sexual abuse is concerned) is that it feeds a more pernicious myth; namely that those victimized are forever "tainted" and more likely to abuse others. Even where non-sexual abuse is concerned, it's horribly wrong to assume that a child victim of or witness to physical or domestic violence is less capable of refraining from violence because of their childhood experiences.The article that Chris Anderson comments on (from Erika Christakis in Time Magazine) argues reasonably that men are the perpetrators of the great majority of violent, homicidal acts confronted in society. One of her suggestions is to treat violence as a public health issue, so that child victims of violence can be treated, and their situations intervened upon with greater effectiveness in terms of their own future wellbeing.  This is something neither myself nor Chris Anderson would disagree with.My only hesitance with what she puts forth is the possible and unfair implication that violence, and particularly sexual violence, is something unerringly attributable to past victimization and maleness. Where physical, domestic violence is concerned, it's true that a correlation between childhood victimization for boys and later perpetration has been established. But even an established correlation does not suggest that male victims of childhood violence are destined somehow to beat their partners and children in adulthood. And where sexual violence is concerned, the connection simply doesn't appear to exist.The lesson?  While we work toward eliminating sexual and family violence, we cannot unfairly assume the victims we encounter are destined by their victimization to repeat it.