Dear Elizabeth:
I don’t see what more you could have done.
As you well know, reporting sexual assault is a remarkably difficult act. It is deeply emotional, terrifying for many reasons, unpredictable and often thankless. You may not have known while you were alive that the great majority of sexual violence is simply never reported to authorities. But you did report it, quickly and comprehensively. I’m in awe of your courage.
I can only imagine how difficult it was for you in particular, Lizzy. You were a 19 year-old college freshman who had struggled with depression; a lovely young woman who had just started studies again after a difficult first year. But you made it to St. Mary’s, an excellent, close-knit school and one situated along with Notre Dame in the heartland of Catholic education. Arriving in this environment from a strong Catholic background must have been an incredible and hard-won joy for you.
But I’m sure it also made it infinitely more difficult to come forward and report what happened on the night of August 31. Being sexually assaulted at a place like Notre Dame and by a member of its football team- the very beating heart of the school for many- is an act that would have silenced most. Few things are more difficult to come to terms with than being attacked in a dorm room by a football player on one of the most venerated sports campuses in the world. The idea of telling anyone must have been horrific, especially as you were just settling into a new school, a new semester, a new season of hope. I’ve spent a career learning how hopes like that can be destroyed in the space of moments, and it never gets easier to hear.
Still, you faced down your fears and took action. You told your friends and wrote down what happened that very night. You went to campus police the next day. Despite the fear of being portrayed as God-knows-what and the fury that might rain down on you for reporting against a football player, you reported anyway. Despite the discomfort of an invasive physical examination, you endured one. Despite the fear and exhaustion that comes with entering counseling in order to fully recover from such an attack, you did that, too. You did everything that could possibly have been asked of you.
That’s why I’m trying to understand why Notre Dame, the world-class, excellent institution where you were attacked, has reacted the way it has. I don’t know why campus police didn’t turn over a case file to the St. Joseph’s County prosecutor’s office until just several days ago- after your case became national news and your hometown paper began demanding answers. Nor do I understand what’s behind the school’s refusal to release police records regarding what they know about what happened to you- even to your parents.
Finally, and most disturbingly, I don’t know why the man you reported against has played an entire season of football. While it’s true that he is and should be considered innocent until proven otherwise, his privilege to play football isn’t in any way related to his legal rights as a citizen. The fact is, you reported swiftly and completely a serious crime to the proper authorities that control his ability to play, and you followed through with evidence collection, counseling and cooperation. Yet still they have chosen to refuse to even acknowledge your complaint, let alone bar him from playing at least until the investigation is completed. This despite your death. Coach Kelly won’t state whether he’s even spoken to the player you identified. He’s quick to remind us that he stresses respect for women in his program, is a father himself, and wants “the right kind of guys” on his team. Well, the player hasn’t been benched in three months; from this we can fairly deduce that Coach Kelly supports him as someone who is “the right kind of guy” and worthy of wearing the uniform. If that’s so, why won’t he give his reasons?
The sad fact is there’s an ocean of ignorance out there regarding what happened to you, Lizzy. Many who are watching the case unfold are repeating over and over again the meaningless mantra that that we must all “Remember Duke Lacrosse.” It’s because many believe, with nothing to back it up, that women regularly accuse men falsely of sexual assault, and especially athletes. They’re happy to extrapolate one example of a false accusation to every possible situation, despite the mountain of evidence suggesting that women just like you endure what you endured day in and day out, usually in numbed silence.
Even worse, some just don’t think that sexual assault is nearly as important as college athletics, and they’ll sacrifice the vindication of a budding, brilliant life like yours in a flurry of nonsense that will trivialize your suffering and ruthlessly twist reality. They’ll call it regret. They’ll call it a misunderstanding. They’ll call it anything but what it is, and they’ll ensconce and defend the man who did it so he can simply do it again. So even the prompt, thorough complaint you made and the investigation you participated in until your death wasn’t enough to bench a football player for a few games until some evidence came to light, one way or another.
But as you know, there are also wonderful people both at Notre Dame and at St. Mary’s. Both are beloved, respected schools for a reason, and I know you felt and still feel that. To the heroic staff from St. Mary’s Belles Against Violence who worked with you and actually found you before you died, I hope you smile on them from where you are and bless their work.
I believe in a loving God, Lizzy. Although I’m a Catholic as you are I don’t believe He punishes those tortured enough to take their own lives, and I’m confident that you’ve reached a plane of existence that will give you not only blessed relief but also infinite understanding. So I guess this letter is more for me than for you; you have the answers now.
Still, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know you in this life, and for what it’s worth l would have been honored to work with you to see the case against your attacker proven. I would have had much to go on, given the dedication you showed to pursuing justice and the courage you summoned to do what most of us wouldn’t have dared. Thank you.
Roger
© 2010, Roger Canaff. All rights reserved.
Roger, it brought tears to my eyes. ND should be ashamed.
Moved to tears…once again you have shed light on what remains today the dark secret that is sexual violence in America. We have come far but still have a terribly long way to go.
Thanks, Gaines, and Eileen, for commenting. I don’t know why this kind of thing surprises me anymore, but it continues to. Maybe that’s a good thing. This young woman’s story in particular was stunningly said. She had re-built her life just to have it crushed again. Hard to believe.
Footnote: the alleged assailant can’t be benched or otherwise
dropped from the program because that would publicly
identify him before he is charged with a crime. And while
that might be a violation of FERPA, it would certainly be
a violation of his right to privacy (as well as possibly
lead to a media frenzy–which would stain his reputation
forever if he is innocent; and might taint a jury pool).
Thanks very much for the comment. I looked into the FERPA issue actually. I’ve heard FERPA referred to as a reason that ND can’t or won’t release information on the case. As you note (I believe that is what you meant) it is NOT a violation of FERPA to release things like police records- these are considered exceptions to protected educational information under FERPA. For the most part, ND has simply stated that, as a private institution, it is not bound by the public information law that schools like IU are subject to. They’re not releasing what they know about this case, as far as I can tell, because they don’t want to.
Respectfully, the alleged assailant’s “right to privacy” is not a strict legal right that trumps all other concerns once a complaint of sexual assault is made against him. I know the rejoinder: “But wait- any woman can accuse any guy at any time and send his life into a tailspin over nothing!” This fear is wide-spread but frankly irrational. It presupposes 1) that it’s easy, attractive and rewarding to make false allegations and 2) that it happens all the time regardless. The facts are that it is remarkably difficult and also rare to report a sex crime, let alone to report one falsely, and that sex crimes are reported falsely no more than any other type of crime. In this case, Ms. Seeberg made a prompt and thorough complaint, and followed up with all investigatory and treatment procedures. There is simply no reason to believe that her complaint isn’t valid at the outset, at least from the admittedly limited information I have. Of course this doesn’t mean the alleged assailant is guilty, and I agree that his legal rights need to be protected as the investigation continues. He can and should be presumed innocent for the purposes of the criminal law. But his privilege to play football and enjoy other aspects of college life, particularly when they reflect directly on the college’s reputation, are quite separate. The college has, in my view not only the right but the duty to protect its integrity and to telegraph the proper response to sexual assault when one its own is accused in the manner that this player has been accused.
Think about it- what if the football player in question had been accused of a serious assault or street robbery? What if, instead of a sexual assault complaint, a person had identified him to the police in a formal investigation as someone who robbed her (or him) at knifepoint or struck her or him with his fist in a parking lot? My guess is he’d be benched immediately while the investigation played out. That’s what should have happened here. The fact that he’s identified by the act of benching him does not mean he can’t or shouldn’t be benched. I’m sorry, but he has been accused of a serious crime. If, after the investigation, it appears that he can’t be charged with a crime, then life goes on. Yes, he is arguably tainted, but that’s how the criminal process works, and he is hardly the first or last person who has been suspected of a crime (any crime) and was later released as a suspect because of further investigation. And contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of people are never completely cleared of crimes- rather they are not prosecuted because (appropriately) there is no legal case against them. And of course, no court ever finds a person “innocent.” It just doesn’t happen that way.
As for the jury issue, I’m not moved by that argument. If the case were to go to trial, jurors would be sought out who either didn’t know who the guy was or what the facts were. And good lawyers and judges are very good at weeding out jurors with preconceived notions or too much knowledge about the case to begin with. Cases with much more press than this one are tried every day by jurors who are sufficiently ignorant of the facts.
Again, thank you for joining the conversation- happy to hear your thoughts anytime.
Dear Roger:
This was a powerful letter and becoming from a man it is more meaningful to me. Thanks so much for being a strong man with kindness heart.
I am Latina and there is so much to do in my country to change the minds of many men who think women are housewives, mothers and don’t have other important role.
I am a survivor and thanks to you and other AMAZING people finally I could speak out and didn’t feel ashamed for what happened to me. It was not my fault.
Because of people like you, I feel protected, I feel secure, I don’t feel alone.
Thank you for your letter I will keep it in my heart for ever.
God blessed you
Your secret admired,
Pilar
I was reduced to tears but not rendered speechless as I read this letter…what a devastating loss for this young woman’s family. She was my daughter’s age and so brave like my daughter. What she endured was horrendous enough but to have all of her strength and courage so completely disregarded–DESPICABLE. As a rape survivor who never reported what happened to me, I know all too well what this precious girl endured and its precisely why I never came forward. I didn’t want anyone else to get the chance to strip me of my dignity, only to have the original perpetrator walk free. Sadly, years later my daughter became a victim at the hands of my former husband but she was much more courageous than I was–disclosing her abuse in an effort to keep him from abusing anyone else. I stood in awe in the courtroom on the day of his sentencing listening to my daughter read her victim impact statement … he was held responsible, she was vindicated and I pray the day comes soon when she moves from victim to survivor in her recovery. Lizzy will never see that type of justice here on earth but there’s a greater Judgment Day awaiting this monster and I prayerfully hope that is a comfort to her family. Thank you Roger from the bottom of my heart for your efforts on behalf of crime victims and for your perspective on these crimes. May God continue to bless you and your work.
Thanks so much for your comment. I’m glad your daughter was able to see justice through; I hope she’s on the road to a complete recovery. It sounds like with in her life she’ll be just fine. And I don’t blame you at all for not coming forward- there are very sound reasons why most people still don’t, and things are better now (somewhat) than they used to be. The important thing is that you survived- congratulations, thank God, and thanks for your insight.
Thank you Pilar, and I’m glad you were able to speak up at last. There is much work to be done on this issue in all countries, I know. I’m so glad you feel protected and secure, and you are most certainly never alone. Roger
Nice letter but the reality is most DA’s are elected officials and allow cases to get botched because they know these types of rapes are hard to prove. Until laws are changed and special crimes units are called in for the victim immediately woman are going to continue to suffer in silence
I couldn’t agree more- thank you for pointing that out. Yes, most DA’s are elected, and those that worry about conviction rates will indeed shy away from these cases. I wrote about exactly such a case in this space (one that fell to Ken Buck, the elected DA in Greeley, CO). I was lucky to have worked for two elected DA’s in separate states over the years who cared much more about doing justice than winning, but that’s not always the case.
SVU’s have added great value to investigations in recent years, and I agree that they need to be mobilized faster. I have no idea why this case languished the way it did after the report was made- I’m hoping that outcry like ours helps get to the bottom of it.
Thanks for joining the conversation-
Roger, I thought you’d be interested in this e-mail exchange with an administrator at Notre Dame: http://vaingloriousescapades.blogspot.com/2010/11/nds-sexual-assault-cover-up.html
Thank you for a beautiful, devastating letter that I deeply, deeply wish had been wholly unnecessary.
Best,
Sharmili
Dear Roger
Thank you for sharing this letter with us, and for caring about the vicitms. Many survivors of rape and sexual assault are avid fans of Law & Order SVU because of the caring nature shown by the characters. It is nice to know that such care is also shown in real life.
I am astounded that a college or university can effectively ignore crimes of this nature. Obviously your criminal justice system is very different to ours. But for campus police to not hand the file over to regular police seems to me to be a way for educational institutions to keep quiet crimes of this nature on their grounds and by their students.
It saddens me that rape and sexual assault victims are still treated so shabbily. Victims of muggings aren’t blamed because they carry a purse or wallet, yet rape victims are still vilified for the clothes they wear. Victims of assults with weapons aren’t asked why they didn’t scream of fight back, but rape victims are still expected to do so, regardless of the circumstances. Surely it is time that we, as a society, stopped blaming rape victims for crimes that were committed against them and put the responsibility where it lies – on the perpetrator.
Again, thank you for sharing the letter. I hope that Elizabeth’s family are able to take strength in the fact that they had a brave and amazing daugther.
Thanks, Roger. I, too, am so amazed by Lizzy’s bravery. I was raped at 16 and couldn’t dream of reporting the assault to law enforcement, medical professional, even my friends or family. If this young man had been accused of any other crime, the school would probably be more likely to address the accusation. You are right on that rape and other sexual offenses are not treated like the truly violent crimes that they are. Victims are scrutinized and held responsible for the actions of the perpetrators. The problem is magnified on college campuses. I am ashamed of Notre Dame. I lived in Indiana at the time of my rape. I was a Catholic teen. I was very much like Lizzy. I nearly didn’t survive the aftermath of my rape. God bless Lizzy. The world is a sadder place without her in it.
Thank you Roger and all for these important comments and the impressive letter. As a victim and a survivor who did report and found some justice (not as much as I would have liked) I find the message you have sent here an important one and one that I am working to carry forward. I am 20 years post assault and have found that persons such as yourself have helped lead me to where I am now… an empowered woman with strong convictions and a small impact on others during the post sexual assault exam (I do some work as a SART nurse). Each of us has the ability to make a small impact on someone such as this young woman who suffered so. Each of these little impacts converge to empower or take away from the individual. I am proud of where I am and it is much due to little moments that have allowed me to empower myself and share what I can to bring the power back to each of us in trying times. Thank you!
Also check out our FB page
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Thats-What-She-Didnt-Say/170122309669693?ref=ts
Wow, Roger, what a moving, powerful letter to someone you didn’t even know. Kudos to you for taking the time to show respect and understanding for Lizzy. It is so sad that there is such a lack of respect for other human beings and that those that lack that respect are not punished swiftly! Thank you for continuing to shed the light!
Thanks, Christine, for joining the conversation. I’m sad that I didn’t know Lizzy in this life, but her actions and great heart merit all the respect and understanding I can muster. I just wish she was still here.
Thank you, Michelle, for persevering and surviving. And thank you for work as a SART nurse- keep it up!
I agree, Shannon- the world is a sadder place without her in it. Thank you for your comment, and I’m sorry for what you endured. Remember, though- survival is what matters. Whether someone can report is dependent on many, many things- often out of the person’s control. You survived, and that is all that matters. I’m grateful that you did. Thanks for joining the conversation.
Carleen, it sounds like you Aussies are way ahead of us. I would love to visit Australia and hope to do so some day, either personally or professionally. Colleges and universities over here are slowly getting better at dealing with on-campus sexual assault, but there is still tremendous push-back. Many schools want to downplay rape on campus so as not to lose ranking, applications, a reputation for ’safety’, etc. It’s sad.
Also, I could not agree more- we don’t judge or look suspiciously at victims of almost any other crime. And yet we scrutinize sex crimes as they were all false. It’s crazy.
Finally, I hope and pray you’re right- that Elizabeth’s family will find strength and peace in the life she lived, and lived well. Thank you for joining the conversation from so far away- please stay in touch.
Roger,
I am a Sex Crimes Detective for a major metropolitan police department. I have investigated hundreds of sexual assaults and agree with your summation of the difficulties victims encounter. The problem with your conclusion regarding the Universities alleged poor handling of the situation is it is based on limited and unreliable information. Look no farther than the recent article written in the Chicago Tribune. That article was full of mis-information. As a prosecutor it is unfortunate that you have formed an opinion based on knowing so little. You are clearly knowledgeable and passionate about victims of sex crimes. I share many of your feelings and frustrations but as a fact finder I don’t understand how you can draw a conclusion from so little information. Recently, it was revealed that NDPD did consult the local SVU very early in the investigation. No doubt that something is up with this case but there are other plausible considerations. What if the University Police have information that would be damaging to the young ladies reputation? I’m not necessarly talking about “412″ evidence but information that directly relates to the night the incident happened. This young lady had emotional problems and the University would have looked very insensitive exposing negative information about her. Maybe sitting on the case wasn’t the best approach but to assume it was to protect the player isn’t consistent with recent events. Several ND players have been arrested around campus without any attempts to cover the incidents. What if the suspect had a solid alibi and no DNA was recovered from the exam? What if video from the entrance to the dorm does not show the victim ever being in the building? You say you would of had “much to go on” but I just don’t see it. If this case was simply an issue of consent then what evidence would you have? DNA collection would be moot. Have you seen the medical records? Were there injuries? Roger, as a prosecutor you have a responsibility to be impartial and you clearly are not. As a detective I deal in facts, not sensational information put out by profit driven media outlets. Unfortunately sexual assault victims have their credibilty challenged like no other. Our cases generally do not have eye witnesses or great direct evidence. The idea of being raped is far more than most people can comprehend therefore it is easier to doubt its very existence. I think you should be proud of your work as an advocate for victims but you might want to consider that when an Officer of the Court draws conclusions based on limited information it only contributes to the problem victims face.
Detective,
“If this case was simply an issue of consent then what evidence would you have?”. Really????
Is your argument that maybe she asked for it and then had buyer’s remorse?
As a Sex Crimes Detective for a major metropolitan police department, you appear to be unsympathetic to the victim.
Roger,
Thank you so much for speaking up for survivors. As a 16 year survivor, I am so sad to hear about this sad, sad turn of events in this case. This trauma that happens to women, and men, I may add, takes away the heart and soul of individuals . I cry every night for the victims that will suffer at the hands of men who rape. Until our society deals with this major social problem, it is not going to go away. I find it demoralizing and egregious that Notre Dame let this football player participate in football games until an investigation was completed. But, we see this scenario far too often in our society.
I also want to ask you a question. I would like to help in the fight against acquaintance rape and would like to get ideas as to how best to get involved. any suggestions?
Roger,
I just don’t even know what to say. Everything you said in your letter is what rape survivors need to hear. I only wish Lizzy had the opportunity to read it.
Reporting a sexual assault is a difficult process, possibly even more difficult than the assault itself. Having to tell the story over and over, being poked and scraped and photographed in the emergency room, meeting with investigators and having to relive and write out all of the details…and then to have people judge you, accuse you of lying, protect the assailant… it’s horrible. I started the process but couldn’t go through it. Like Lizzy, I was suicidal but luckily the first police officers that I spoke with recognized it and I was kept in the hospital.
The idea of going to court it was made me drop the ball on the process. I knew it was going to come down to he said/she said. I knew my mental health and my sexual history would become the focus. I knew it would feel like I was the one being prosecuted. I couldn’t do it. And I am a pretty strong person…except when it came to this.
I received some nasty comments from people. My now-ex-boyfriend told everyone – his family, his new girlfriend, even people he had just met on Facebook – that I was lying about it. I dropped a few friends after they chastised me for not pressing charges, implying that I was to blame if he did this to someone else. And the rapist? No one said a word to him. Except for me. I confronted him. He admitted to it. But when he found out I had spoken to police, he basically said he would deny it and tell them I consented. How could I prove otherwise? The law seems to be on their side.
Anyway, your letter had me in tears. I wish there were more people, especially those in a position to do something, who felt this way.
Thanks, Detective, for your comment. I very much appreciate your perspective and welcome you to the conversation. Let me address your points briefly:
First of all, from a legal standpoint I disagree with your opinion that a prosecutor must be “impartial.” Prosecutors are not impartial- they can be, as law enforcement officers can be- advocates for the guilt of the accused in a charged case. They must be fair and meticulously ethical; on that I agree completely. But they are not impartial. Judges and jurors are impartial.
Secondly, what I understand is that, perhaps, NDPD reached out to a St. Joseph’s County detective to mention the allegation, but that the detective didn’t consider it relevant to the investigation of her death. That is very different from involving the SJC SVU on the case. If that happened- actual contact and collaboration with St Joe’s SVU, it seemed like news to the DA there, Michael Dvorak when he announced around Nov 22 that he had received a file from NDPD the week of Nov 15 at the earliest. He didn’t mention any prior contact. If there is conflicting information I welcome evidence of it, but I wrote based on Mr. Dvorak’s own statement as a DA, and I think it was a reliable source.
Thirdly, there may be valid reasons for what ND has done in refusing to release any information on the case, but I haven’t seen any evidence of that. I actually chose my words carefully here- I never stated nor do I necessarily believe that ND has sat on this case and kept it under wraps simply in order to protect its football player or program. But a neutral observer would have to admit that it certainly could appear that way. It’s not only that ND won’t reveal facts about the case. It’s also that ND never asked this player to sit out a single game despite almost certainly knowing about the allegation. I’m sorry, but I think that’s unreasonable unless the allegation was so clearly and remarkably fatuous that it didn’t merit investigation, and that is obviously not the case- a huge file has apparently been turned over (finally) to Mr. Dvorak.
Fourthly, I concede completely that I don’t have the facts necessary to determine whether or not I could actually prosecute this case, particular in a jurisdiction I’m unfamiliar with. I’m going on what I know about it, though, and what I know about the nature of sexual violence and the dynamics associated with it. I have not judged this player guilty to any strict legal standard- I would never do that with the knowledge I have and I’m certainly not suggesting that others should either. But if you want to know right now whether or not I believe that a sexual assault happened? I do. Here’s why:
-Lizzy Seeberg reported what she reported to friends immediately and wrote down what she experienced that night.
-She reported to police the very next day, and (as I’ve mentioned) underwent everything asked of her from an investigatory standpoint. She entered counseling and she was cooperating.
-She had no motive to lie about this crime that I can see (granted, I could be surprised, but I’ll wait for that). In fact, reporting an assault like this one would likely have been the very last thing a woman in her position would have wanted do. The fact is, she had everything to lose and zero to gain from reporting this incident.
-Most sexual assault allegations are valid. Around 90% of them are valid, in fact, and I have no reason to simply believe that this one is different. No information has surfaced to suggest that Ms. Seeberg was delusional; she was suffering from anxiety and depression, not a disconnect from reality, at least as far as has been revealed.
Of course I could be wrong about the guilt of the person she accused and/or about Lizzy herself. But, I saw no recklessness in writing based on what I know. And again, I’m not declaring the accused player legally guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. I do believe, however, that he should have been benched pending the outcome of this case. Regardless of what ND has done right in the past with regard to arrested players (and I’m sure they have done right) they don’t appear to have done right in this case. The idea that this young man, whomever he is, can’t possibly be suspended when a thorough, complete report (along with physical exam, etc) has been made against him (formally- to NDPD) is beyond me. Playing football is not a civil right- it’s a privilege. It’s one that can and should be at least temporarily suspended when a person attracts a serious and formal legal allegation against him.
As for whether I could have “won” this case? Who knows, but I can tell you that I surely would not have given up for lack of injury or DNA. I’m sure you know as a sex crimes detective that most cases don’t yield such evidence. We as sex crimes DA’s don’t win cases with DNA and CSI wizardry if we’re truly good. Those cases plead. We win cases by re-creating the reality of the crime for jurors, crafting careful direct and cross exams, shaping themes and weaving them through the entire case, corroborating evidence creatively with the help of great detectives like you, working with advocates to keep our victims strong and informed, and stressing things like the obvious- Lizzy had no apparent motive to lie, she reported quickly and thoroughly, etc, etc. (It should be noted here that delayed reports, as I’m sure you know, are very common in non-stranger sexual assaults, and they don’t mean that no assault occurred. But in this case, even an understandable delay due to fear, uncertainty, social pressure, etc, didn’t happen.)
Ultimately, of course I don’t know what a legal outcome would be. But unless I’m surprised- and I’m always prepared to be- this was a valid and winnable case, and I would have taken it willingly.
Again, detective, thank you for your comment and please feel free to respond or add more as you see fit. Thank you very much for your dedication to these cases and your service to victims.
Thanks for your comment, Michael. In fairness, I think he might just be expressing what many people in my business express, namely an aversion to cases that appear to be “he said, she said.” I hate the term, but it’s out there. Cases where consent is the issue and no witnesses exist to the actual event are difficult. And they are common. But they can be won- and I have worked with phenomenal DA’s like Bridget Ryan, Teresa Scalzo and Jennifer Long (who I originally met at the Nat’l DA’s Association) who have developed entire curricula on winning cases where consent is the issue and the case has to be proven on testimony and good arguments. It can happen- but it’s tough, and many ADAs and detectives shy away from cases like that. I’m suggesting that the detective who comments does or doesn’t- I don’t know him. Just pointing out what I’ve seen- and we’re trying to change that.
Thanks for your comment, Meg. One immediate idea that comes to mind is to reach out to your local women’s shelter, rape crisis center, your community’s office on women or women’s issues (if they have one) and see if you can volunteer or contribute. I think it’s always great to start locally, and there is plenty of need at the local level. Also, every state has a state coalition against sexual assault. You can google yours and contact them as well. Thanks and good luck!
Thanks for sharing that account, April, and please accept my deepest sympathy for what you went through. The fact is, the only thing you needed to do was survive that attack. You did survive it, and that’s all that matters. No one has the right to chastise you for the choices you made- they can’t stand in your shoes and live your life. Congratulations on making it to today- that’s all that matters.
If it is proven that it was, in fact, sexual assault, than this piece is full of great points and serves a valuable purpose.
Up until then, you are assuming a lot about a very serious topic. You are criticizing a religion, an institution, and countless people. One of which is a young man that may be innocent. This piece gets readers emotionally involved on a premise that is not proven. Nothing you have written is justified in this particular case, and the negative perception that you, and everybody that has positively commented on this piece, feels towards the noted groups involved is entirely unwarranted and unfair.
Yes, this is a very serious and sad matter, but to place blame and judgment on anybody at this point – especially from our point-of-view which lacks many crucial facts – is plain wrong.
I’m hesitant to publicly comment, but I wanted to thank you for writing your letter re: Elizabeth. Very often I read your posts, nodding my head in agreement. This was not the case while reading your letter. I’ve never felt more challenged reading an opinion. My background as an ND alumnae, assault survivor, and working in sports all converge to create a very confusing thought-process. I want to protect the institution I love, the football program I support – but this directly conflicts with supporting Lizzy and others like her.
You see, when I was studying abroad in an ND program, I was assaulted in a club when separated from my friends. Like Lizzy, I was assaulted, but not raped. Like Lizzy, I told a (female) school official. I was blown off (“Thanks for letting us know, we’ll make sure the next group of students who come through are warned more firmly of these kinds of things”). Those I shared the incident with didn’t believe me, or said “at least I wasn’t raped.” What they didn’t know is that it still affected me as if I had been raped. I didn’t sleep at night. There were too many windows that provided easy entry (didn’t matter that it wasn’t rational since we weren’t on the first floor). They didn’t know that the reason I drank every night wasn’t because I was getting the most out of my abroad experience – it was because I didn’t fear the city at night when I couldn’t see it clearly. Thankfully, when I came back to the states, that helped. Back home, I was safe.
I offered to share my story with students preparing to study abroad. It was my understanding that the future participants (maybe just the female ones) were given a presentation by females who had been assaulted abroad. My offer was never acknowledged. To this day, I still don’t think anyone ever believed me. It was so easy to reason it away because I had been drinking, it was dark, and it didn’t escalate to a full rape. All this and I still find myself wanted to defend ND. This makes me angry at myself. It also makes me thankful to have posts like yours that force me to confront the irrational and blind devotion to an institution that did a young woman wrong. Thank you for being a voice for Lizzy when those of us who are misguided fail.
Thanks for your comment, Garrett. Respectfully, we’ll have to agree to disagree on my intent and on the validity of what I stated. I don’t believe I leveled any criticism against the Church, nor did I mean to do so. I did state that I don’t agree with a piece of Catholic doctrine; it is one that, frankly, I’ve heard less and less in recent years and one that several priests I know and love don’t agree with. Otherwise, I did not implicate religion and certainly was not attempting to be critical of Catholicism.
I have criticized a great institution- The University of Notre Dame. However, I also stressed that it is a first rate, rightly respected school and that it is (as I truly believe) filled with great people. I love Notre Dame, actually- I have a few very dear friends who are alumni and the biggest, most often worn sweatshirt I have has IRISH on it in huge letters. I’ve been to South Bend for two games and loved everything about the place. That being said, I think ND has not acted correctly this case. Yes, I could be wrong and the allegation could be baseless. But I don’t think the facts at this point bear that out. I’ll admit- I’m writing from what I know now, and I may be proven wrong. But I stand by my criticism of the school for not benching this player given the facts, and I have not heard a satisfactory explanation as to why ND won’t share any information on the case with anyone.
Finally, I am not in any way criticizing “countless people” unless there are, indeed, countless people who put college athletics before the fate of a young woman who reported a serious crime and then took her own life. I don’t believe that people who feel that way are countless at all. I think they’re a vocal minority, and I certainly believe that about ND, where I’ve met dozens if not more of some of the finest people I know. I am criticizing the decision makers at ND who have allowed things to unfold as they have- that I’ll readily agree to. I stand by that.
Again, thanks for your comment- I suspect from your e-mail that you’re an alumnus, and I hope I didn’t gratuitously offend you. That was absolutely not my intent.
Thank you for writing, and for sharing that experience. I’m deeply sorry that happened to you, and believe me- I know that an attempted assault can be as unsettling and life-altering as a completed one. I’m glad you survived it- that’s all that matters. And you should be commended for offering to speak to others and help to prevent further harm.
As I stated earlier, I am absolutely not attempting to “shame” Notre Dame or extrapolate criticism of it on one issue to some broad-based tirade against it. ND is much, much bigger than I am, and it is a great school. I wish it was handling this case differently, that’s all. And God knows I wish it had handled your attack differently. But the fact is, we’re really just now making long strides in understanding and handling sexual assault, especially sexual assault that involves alcohol, non-stranger situations, etc. ND needs to be prodded like all schools do- my hope is that the attention the Chicago Tribune and others are putting on this tragedy will help that process.
Thank you for your kind sentiments- I have been significantly affected by this case, and I wish it involved a still living Lizzy, whatever she decided to do about reporting or not reporting. Hopefully efforts like ours will lead to less and less accounts like hers.
Garrett, I’ve been friends with Roger Canaff for going on twenty years now. He is criticizing an institution or at least asking very honest questions about the behavior of people inside it, but there is nothing in there attacking any religion and he is not anti-Catholic. Far from it. He is a practicing Catholic who attends mass more regularly than anyone else I know.
I don’t see your letter as a broad attack on Notre Dame. ND is a great institution that does great things for the ND family and community. I think you’re asking the difficult questions – the questions that those of us with instinctive blind faith are too close to ask. It’s only by asking them that we are able to reconcile the issues, and hold ND to the higher standard that makes me proud to be an alumnae.
Agreed, Colleen. Thanks.
Roger,
Your words have really moved me. I come from somewhat similar circumstances – as a freshman in college, a mere 4 years ago, I too was raped by a football player at a division I school. I had a rape kit done, gave my story to both the county and campus police, produced witnesses, and worked with the campus women’s center for further help and support.
I was called a variety of things by those higher up at the university, given the opportunity to transfer to whatever school I desired, but I stayed. I worked to get my case to court when I was told by the county prosecutor that I should give up while now because my case had no chance.
I, unfortunately, did give up. The football player got by unscathed and continued to play for the university until he no longer had eligibility.
Why is it that when all the evidence is there (physical with the rape kit, the accounts of the victim and others, etc.) nothing is done?
Thank you again for your words. They mean more than you would think.
Roger,
I stand corrected re: being impartial. I actually considered better explaining my point on that issue after I read my post. While a prosecutor can (and should) believe in the cases they argue I think they must yield to factual evidence and always be cautious about becoming to emotionally invested. Human emotions cause otherwise well intended people to have tunnel vision. As we have seen in the “duke lacross case”, it only takes one prosecutor to damage thousands of other cases. I recently had the duke case actually came up during a jury voir dire.
I also acknowledge that there is something very unusual about this case and the way University Police have handled it. I might be blindly defending the Universities decisions without enough facts as well. It makes more sense to me that the victim might have lied during her statement to the University Police and they have clear evidence of that. Unfortunately legitimate sexual assault victims sometimes lie or fail to disclose portions of an incident(especially when the suspect is known). Experienced sex crimes investigators know that this doesn’t mean the person wasn’t assaulted. Most of the time the lie centers around something the victim feels guilty about. Things like intoxication or sexually explicit text or email are often lied about or not disclosed for a variety of reasons. I just have to wonder if the University Police found something along those lines and determined they could not articulate enough probable cause to bring it to the prosecutor. If the University Police report back to the administration their findings I don’t think it is unreasonable for them to allow the player to participate. We might understand that lying about a couple of details doesn’t mean the assault didn’t happen, nor should it end an investigation, but I would argue that it would create enough doubt with most people to stop an investigation in its tracks. Perhaps the University Police are not equiped to handle these types of investigation and some sort of county ordinance might need to be considered.
I do my best to reset my thought process with every new investigation. I would never indicate doubt when a victim initially reports an incident and investigate the allegation assuming what is reported is accurate. As the investigation progresses I allow the evidence to guide my opinion. Of course, my opinion is pretty fluid during this process. My primary responsibilty is always to the facts. I think too many people get caught up in statistics like “%90 of sexual assault allegations are valid” or the flip side, the duke lacross case. Every case needs to stand on its own and I think we need more facts before passing judgement on how ND administration handled it.
Finally, thank you for explaining my point to Michael. I never intended to sound unsympathic towards vicitims. I work in sex crimes because it is one of the areas that we have “true victims”. Many other major felony investigation involve one drug dealer robbing or shooting another. Sexual assualt victims ultimately bare no responsibity in their crime. Often they make unsafe or poor decisions but that should never result in such a violation.
Roger,
I must disagree with your position that the young man should have been benched or kicked from the team on the basis of the complaint. While you are certainly correct that it is not generally advantageous for someone to claim falsely that she has been assaulted, the flaw in punishing based on claims alone is that it could affect future behavior. That is, if one knows that just by making a complaint the accused will suffer consequences, false claims will rise, and this would serve to undermine even further the multitude of valid claims which you correctly believe are not currently treated with appropriate seriousness.
Even operating under the (I think highly unrealistic) assumption that no woman would ever resort to filing such a false complaint to play out a grudge, the damage would already be done, because the public will recognize that there is an incentive to making false claims, and this would make dismissing assault claims, valid or invalid, that much easier.
You essentially make note of this problem by referencing the highly publicized case of the Duke players who were punished based on a false complaint, and which is now used by many to question the credibility of assault claims. Making it a policy to punish based on claims would only exacerbate the problem.
Thank you for your letter and excellent replied to posts.
What appalls me most is that a violent crime was reported to campus police and they did not forward this on to the local authorities to have the perpetrator prosecuted. People need to get over the word “sex” and realize that these assaults are technically violent crimes, as brutal and as dangerous to the public (especially young, college-aged women) as other assaults with deadly or genital weapons. From the victim’s perspective, he could have been beating her insides with the barrel of a gun. There is nothing of natural, pleasurable “sex” about this encounter for her. The “sexual” region of the crime makes it most heinous in that this is the weapon the man chose to use when overpowering and brutally beating his female victim.
Others have mentioned this before, but if her scars had been outward (e.g. broken arm instead of broken psyche, battered face instead of battered self-worth) and this simply reported as a violent assault, would the college be legally liable for covering it up?
Thanks, Detective- I agree with you completely on just about everything you’ve stated here and I’m grateful for your perspective.
I do agree that prosecutors need to be mindful of the facts as they unfold, and that they must not lose sight of their role (i.e, the government and community’s representative, not the complainant’s). ADA’s do stand in a position somewhat more objective than police officers and detectives, so I see where you’re coming from.
You’re entirely correct that, oftentimes, victims lie or only tell partial truths regarding collateral aspects of the case. This is often the result of embarrassment, guilt, fear that the truth will “ruin the case,” etc. One of the challenges for both cops and DA’s in many cases is making sure victims understand the importance of and power of being 100% candid.
I suppose it’s possible that NDPD investigated the case and made some quick determination that it just wasn’t worthy of being forwarded on for prosecution, but I’m not sure how that would actually play out. I say that because I don’t know what protocols are in place to deal with sexual violence cases, or how much authority NDPD gives itself to make those determinations without consulting the district attorney. In any event, if it were the case that NDPD detected obvious and fatal problems with Ms Seeberg’s report or the case in general, is there some reason ND wouldn’t just say so? Again, I’m not saying your scenario is impossible. It’s important for me to stress again that I am not making an absolute judgment that ND was trying to block or snuff out an investigation in order to protect their football program. I don’t know what their motives are- my point is that the signs are troubling and that they would do well to clarify.
I’m also trying to keep an open mind, and I’m trying to imagine what would keep the school 100% silent about this case at this late date. I understand, of course, wanting to investigate before jumping to any conclusion. But they seemed to have dragged their feet far too much on getting this case to the DA’s office. And all of this while the accused person, whomever he is, continues to represent the school on the football field.
Finally, I agree that every case must stand on its own. I only cite the research (and it is validated, methodological research) on false reports because there are so many people out there who believe that rape is falsely reported often, or at very least much more than other violent crimes. Thanks again for your comments- I did not detect that you were being unsympathetic to victims, but more that you were trying to maintain a clear and open mind case by case. That’s commendable.
Thanks for your comment, JB, and for joining the conversation. I understand your argument, but I don’t think experience or research bears it out.
I do see the theoretical logic in believing that “rewarding” yet-unproven sex assault complaints (i.e., benching the accused) would naturally raise the number of false reports as those who would make them see them succeed. However, this logic is based on underlying assumptions that I think are invalid. First among them, this logic assumes that making the complaint (especially in the matter that Lizzy Seeberg did) is easy or painless enough to be worth enduring for the “payoff” of seeing the falsely accused person suffer. I’d argue that it is not. Again, this isn’t just me spouting; replicated research indicates that most women don’t report VALID complaints. This is because making complaints is terrifying and difficult, particularly in circumstances like Lizzy’s. It’s hard enough to come forward when the complaint is valid. Coming forward- again, especially as thoroughly as Lizzy did- with an invalid complaint is more difficult. Repeating the account over and over again, being examined and re-examined, activating an entire system around oneself- these are exhausting and very, very trying tasks. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. Sexual assault is claimed falsely about as much as other violent crimes, somewhere in the 8-12% range. But there’s no reason to assume that sex assault complaints are made falsely any more than other crimes. In fact, things like insurance fraud and even car theft are probably much more falsely claimed (no one has closely studied it) because they are easier to report falsely and can be very lucrative.
But back to the main point, I just don’t believe that making false complaints of sexual assault is something that is 1) painless enough to attempt easily and 2) worth the result in almost all cases. I know it’s a universally feared thing, but it just doesn’t happen very often. Quite the opposite, actually- the vast majority of women are clearly sexually assaulted shy from reporting and tell no one. A woman would, believe it or not, much rather (falsely) label herself a slut or an idiot than she would a sexual assault victim.
Do false reports occur, and do they occur out of some vindictive impulse or pure malevolent intent? Sure. Does that happen often? No. Is the idea of making a false report of sexual violence so tempting (because of a potential fallout from the report) that it’s something we need to fear widely? No.
I’ll concede this: Not all complaints are of the same initial quality or apparent validity. I don’t have all the facts, but what has been revealed so far suggests that her complaint was complete, timely, and thorough. In my view, absent something I don’t know (because ND won’t say) I believe that benching this player until the case could be fully investigated was merited.
Sorry, but the Duke Lacrosse case is a VERY good reason to not kick anyone of the team until he is convicted.
If you don’t like it, blame Crystal Gail Magnum and Mike Nifong.
I had read about this in the news previously, but never from the perspective of someone in the legal field. Elizabeth’s story has truly saddened and moved me, and your passion as a prosecutor and anti-violence advocate is inspiring also. I actually stumbled upon your blog while taking a break from working on my law school applications, and I can only hope that one day I will be speaking for victims with the same passion you have shown for Elizabeth.
Thanks for joining the conversation. Respectfully, I’ll assign blame where it logically and fairly belongs. Ms. Magnum and Mr. Nifong deserve blame for what they did, period. It’s people like you, frankly, who deserve blame for extrapolating this one, isolated and rare case into a pernicious myth that now seeks to define all incidents of sexual violence as something usually made up and always worthy of suspicion.
The degrading, damaging lie, Ms. Tioga, is that Duke Lacrosse defines anything beyond its own miserable facts.
Again, thanks for your comment.
Fantastic, Leigh- thanks for joining the conversation. By all means, don’t let anyone discourage you from going to law school. I know it’s a hugely popular sport for lawyers to discourage potential lawyers, but ignore them. You may or may not like law school (my best friend in law school loved it- I hated it, we’re going on 20 years of friendship). But you’ll never regret having a law degree. And if you want to join our ranks as a prosecutor, I’m sure we’d be honored to have you. Good luck.
The university has handled the matter very well. I don’t care what the Tribune reports–its reporters are digging for the perfect story, not the truth.
Investigations take time–weeks, not days.
Universities are banned from divulging disciplinary records. Coach Kelly cannot ban a player from the team who has not been arrested and accused of a crime.
You need to research how ND has dealt with cases of rape and sexual assault in the past. It has a remarkable record of seeking justice and assuring the safety of its students.
Thanks for your comment, John. I have no doubt that ND has handled sexual assault complaints well in the past. As I’ve stated, I have great respect for the school and actually consider myself a fan. But respectfully I don’t believe ND has handled this well- at least on the information that’s been revealed. As I’ve stated previously, FERPA is not, in my estimation, a ban on releasing the police records associated with this case. And I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that Coach Kelly is restricted to that degree, but to be fair I am not nearly as knowledgable as I could be. I have heard from professional sports writers that he is NOT as restricted from benching players as you suggest, but I will follow up.
I tend to believe that everyone (or certainly most everyone) at ND in authority started out with very good intentions. I believe those good intentions faltered greatly when Ms. Seeberg died. Now, I believe the stonewalling is making things worse. If I’m wrong, I’ll admit as much readily.
Again, thank you for joining the conversation.
After reading additional posts I have to make sure I haven’t given too much support regarding the idea of false reporting. I think I should explain how rare cases of false reporting can be versus cases that are not prosecuted. The most common false allegations I have investigated are usually motivated by perscription drug seekers and/or severly emotionally disturbed attention seekers. These false accusations almost always involve an unknown suspect wearing a ski mask and occur in places unlikely to have video or witnesses. It is even more rare for a specific person to be falsely accussed. I fully understand Roger’s opinion but I am cautiously optimistic that the University Police have exculpatory evidence and the only mistakes were from a PR perspective. If it is anything less than that I would hope that the governing body that allows the NDPD to have full law enforcement authority would revoke that responsibility. My position only pertains to the assumption that the Adminstration’s decision was based on information provided by the University Police. While I respectfully disagree with Roger that the player should have been suspended from participation, I want to make clear I base that soley on the information that I have seen. The ramifications for a suspension would have life long damaging effects on the accused. If the Adminstration had information that the allegation was likely untrue than it would have been a complete miscarriage of justice to subject the player to public suspicion. Suspending his football participation would not have a single benefit to the ability to invistigate the allegation. It would strickly be a PR move. There could become a time that more information is learned and I would be completely disgusted by the University’s adminstration. Until that time I will give the benefit of doubt to a University that has earned it.